Ut Humiliter Opinor

Movies.com has the Muppet balcony hecklers Statler and Waldorf doing a movie review feature akin to Siskel & Ebert. This week’s installment reviews Zorro and Jarhead. I’m still not sure what either movie is about, but they said Rumsfeld is still in the theater watching Jarhead because “he doesn’t have an exit strategy!”

Ouch! What good fun. Go check it out.

I’ll admit that I haven’t seen the movie, but this is really an unfortunate turn for their company, especially just as the movie was coming out and doing so well:

Fire destroys ‘Wallace and Gromit’ warehouse

BRISTOL, England — The company behind the new “Wallace and Gromit” film said Monday its “entire history” has been destroyed in a fire at a warehouse containing props and sets. … “Curse of the Were-Rabbit,” Wallace and Gromit’s first full-length feature, was released in the United States on Friday and topped the U.S. box office over the weekend. (Full story) “Today was supposed to be a day of celebration, with the news that ‘Wallace and Gromit’ had gone in at No. 1 at the U.S. box office, but instead our whole history has been wiped out,” Aardman spokesman Arthur Sheriff said. “It’s turned out to be a terrible day.” .. Wallace and Gromit’s creator, Nick Park, said the earthquake in South Asia helped put the loss into perspective. “Even though it is a precious and nostalgic collection and valuable to the company, in light of other tragedies, today isn’t a big deal,” he said.

Via PoliBlog:

Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage’s wife of 14 months gave birth on Monday to the couple’s first child together, a son they named Kal-el — a moniker recognized by comic book fans as the birth name of Superman.

Why in the world would you do this to a kid? Are they going to call him Kal-el? Clark? Some parents shouldn’t be allowed near a birth certificate.

This is news I’ve been waiting for for a long time:

Shore’s Rings Complete Recordings Coming

The complete Oscar and Grammy winning score to “The Fellowship of the Ring,” from the epic film trilogy “The Lord of the Rings,” will be available in a deluxe four-disc edition from Reprise/WMG Soundtracks on November 22nd, 2005.

Eventually, the scores for all three movies will be released: 9 CDs in all. Howard Shore’s music brought the movies to life. The Two Towers in particular is the best, UHO. The Rohan themes are especially moving. Shore brings out the loneliness and hopelessness of a failing society, only to turn it into the glorious possibilities of a reborn king.

The one track I look forward to most, though, is from Return of the King. The current soundtrack eliminates the tragic splendor of the Ride of the Rohirrim to Minas Tirith. That is probably my favorite moment in all the films, and I was heartbroken that it was left out of the original release. I can’t say for certain why, but I remember that the Academy did not want to award Oscars for what it saw as repeat work, so it put a threshold in place to make sure submitted scores were not derivitaves. That set of music was a culmination of themes originally from The Two Towers so I still wonder if that’s why it was omitted. Whatever the reason, I’ll be glad to have it.

Fox News reports on the box office power of sex comedies. Personally, all this tells me is that - if true - I won’t be going to the movies any time soon.

Boys of Summer Put Libido in Box Office:

Pandya feels that we will see more from the sex comedy genre, and that it could help to resurrect the movie industry, which has been down more than 12 percent since 2004 and spent a good part of this spring and summer in its worst slump in 20 years.

That last three movies I saw are (in reverse order): The Fantastic Four, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and Star Wars. Not exactly high drama, but just good, escapist fun.

Hollywood keeps trying to figure out what the public wants to see. Try making good stories, and tell them well. Titanic wasn’t a great story, but it was a decent one told pretty well. The Spider-man movies are pretty typical hero movies, but very well done. Hollywood isn’t doing a very good job lately of finding good stories or good ways to tell them.

From Poliblog: The Year I Graduated High School

Steven Taylor provides a link to the top 100 songs of your high school year. Put your year in the search engine to get the list. Then, code the list according to your preference.

Coding (altered from Steven’s): Bold: Great! Don’t even think about changing the radio. Italics: Good, worth listening to once in a while. Underline: I know where the CD is or have it in the iTunes library. Strikethrough: Please, PLEASE turn it off! Normal: Okay, or not memorable.

1985 1. Careless Whisper, Wham! 2. Like A Virgin, Madonna 3. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, Wham! 4. I Want To Know What Love Is, Foreigner 5. I Feel For You, Chaka Khan 6. Out Of Touch, Daryl Hall and John Oates 7. Everybody Wants To Rule The World, Tears For Fears 8. Money For Nothing, Dire Straits 9. Crazy For You, Madonna 10. Take On Me, A-Ha 11. Everytime You Go Away, Paul Young 12. Easy Lover, Phil Collins and Philip Bailey 13. Can’t Fight This Feeling, REO Speedwagon 14. We Built This City, Starship 15. The Power Of Love, Huey Lewis and The News 16. Don’t You (Forget About Me), Simple Minds 17. Cherish, Kool and The Gang 18. St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion), John Parr 19. The Heat Is On, Glenn Frey 20. We Are The World, U.S.A. For Africa 21. Shout, Tears For Fears 22. Part-Time Lover, Stevie Wonder 23. Saving All My Love For You, Whitney Houston 24. Heaven, Bryan Adams 25. Everything She Wants, Wham! 26. Cool It Now, New Edition 27. Miami Vice Theme, Jan Hammer 28. Lover Boy, Billy Ocean 29. Lover Girl, Teena Marie 30. You Belong To The City, Glenn Frey 31. Oh Sheila, Ready For The World 32. Rhythm Of The Night, Debarge 33. One More Night, Phil Collins 34. Sea Of Love, Honeydrippers 35. A View To A Kill, Duran Duran 36. The Wild Boys, Duran Duran 37. You’re The Inspiration, Chicago 38. Neutron Dance, Pointer Sisters 39. We Belong, Pat Benatar 40. Nightshift, Commodores 41. Things Can Only Get Better, Howard Jones 42. All I Need, Jack Wagner 43. Freeway Of Love, Aretha Franklin 44. Never Surrender, Corey Hart 45. Sussudio, Phil Collins 46. Strut, Sheena Easton 47. You Give Good Love, Whitney Houston 48. The Search Is Over, Survivor 49. Missing You, Diana Ross 50. Separate Lives, Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin 51. Raspberry Beret, Prince and The Revolution 52. Suddenly, Billy Ocean 53. The Boys Of Summer, Don Henley 54. One Night In Bangkok, Murray Head 55. If You Love Somebody Set Them Free, Sting 56. Obsession, Animotion 57. We Don’t Need Another Hero, Tina Turner 58. Material Girl, Madonna 59. Better Be Good To Me, Tina Turner 60. Head Over Heels, Tears For Fears 61. Axel F, Harold Faltermeyer 62. Smooth Operator, Sade 63. In My House, Mary Jane Girls 64. Don’t Lose My Number, Phil Collins 65. All Through The Night, Cyndi Lauper 66. Run To You, Bryan Adams 67. Glory Days, Bruce Springsteen 68. Voices Carry, ‘Til Tuesday 69. Misled, Kool and The Gang 70. Would I Lie To You?, Eurythmics 71. Be Near Me, ABC 72. No More Lonely Nights, Paul McCartney 73. I Can’t Hold Back, Survivor 74. Summer Of ‘69, Bryan Adams 75. Walking On Sunshine, Katrina and The Waves 76. Freedom, Wham! 77. Too Late For Goodbyes, Julian Lennon 78. Valotte, Julian Lennon 79. Some Like It Hot, Power Station 80. Solid, Ashford and Simpson 81. Angel, Madonna 82. I’m On Fire, Bruce Springsteen 83. Method Of Modern Love, Daryl Hall and John Oates 84. Lay Your Hands On Me, Thompson Twins 85. Who’s Holding Donna Now, Debarge 86. Lonely Ol’ Night, John Cougar Mellencamp 87. What About Love, Heart 88. California Girls, David Lee Roth 89. Fresh, Kool and The Gang 90. Do What You Do, Jermaine Jackson 91. Jungle Of Love, The Time 92. Born In The USA, Bruce Springsteen 93. Private Dancer, Tina Turner 94. Who’s Zoomin’ Who, Aretha Franklin 95. Fortress Around Your Heart, Sting 96. Penny Lover, Lionel Richie 97. All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Don Henley 98. Dress You Up, Madonna 99. Sentimental Street, Night Ranger 100. Sugar Walls, Sheena Easton

Hogwarts iPod

It was only a matter of time:

SONA MOBILE AND VIACOM CONSUMER PRODUCTS TO CREATE STAR TREK® THEMED MOBILE COMMUNICATOR DEVICE

My wife took the kids to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory yesterday. All enjoyed it but came away with the same reaction: why remake it? Now, I expected that reaction from my wife, but when the kids shrug at a remake, you have to wonder what the point was.

(The point was that it got them in the seats, naturally, which I suppose they did.)

I have seen some of these for Lord of the Rings, but this is the first one I’ve seen for Star Wars. They are just too funny. For example, I didn’t realize Anakin was being cuckolded (you really just have to read it):

winterson.com: episode iii, the backstroke of the west